Notes to Mike

Dear Mike, Oooh.  Really interesting... Jordan Petterson on consciousness and what is real: https://youtu.be/tLteWutitFM Petterson said that we don't see people.  We only see shadows.   “We shall not cease from exploration  And the end of all our exploring  Will be to arrive where we started  And know the place for the first time.”   --T.S. Eliot Thank you for giving me the year Mike.  By April of 2022 I will let you know if I can be a good friend by then.  I'm not sure if I could ever be the person that doesn't bring stress into your world.  We have a writing relationship.  In writing resides the world of thought.  In my thoughts I feel more resounding.  I don't know that I could be a person that is non-destructive to you.  I'm trying.  And I just failed.   Through my failed relationship with Stan, I lashed out.   I allowed my anger to cause a scatter array of vindictive...

Dear Mike, It's hard to deserve having your influence in my life Mike. I keep failing to choose kindness. It's a hard choice to make when others make themselves glaringly deserving of my unkindness. Hey.  I was watching Jordan Petterson and I figured out why you were so important to me. My father died in Vietnam before I was born.  It left this enormous hole in my life for a male role model.  I think you fit the shoe.  You're like a father figure of sort.  I think that's how I feel about you as you continue to remain important to me. https://youtu.be/8AA1lR3CC4s Yesterday I conversated with Carl for two periods.  We discussed the importance of having a black principal in inner city schools and ways that it helped America.  Carl said he could never, being caucasian, understand the weight of racism that a person of color must bear in this country and how it taints their world view.  He said that inner city schools are distinct from regul...

  Dear Mike, Today I am studying rhetorical devices.  It's fascinating.  It's a means of persuasion. I just sent a very unkind note to Stan. I don't know if I can ever get there Mike.   I'm not proud of myself. Mike it felt really good to be cruel to Stanm.  I'm not sure that I could ever make myself into the person that turns the other cheek and allows misdeeds to go unpunished. There was a mental block on Stan's end, like he didn't realize what he was doing was wrong.  He justified himself somehow.  It was like he was waiting for a victim to come along and fall into his trap.   There wasn't compassion about him.  He was just truly into  himself.   When you are  harming others in the process then it only serves your needs.  He would have harmed me.  He would have taken my time while our intentions were not in allignment.  He would have seen it and he would have known it.  He would...

Dear Mike, I wrote a letter to Stan this morning... Dear Stan, I'm sorry about how things are unfolding.   I care about you deeply. If you change your mind let me know.   In the meanwhile there is friendship if that is possible.   I don't know that it is. I would just offer mine to you. I am available to you anytime you need a friend.   I kept a journal April 7th to April 15th if you want to read it. https://bettybassettalife. blogspot.com/?m=1 I don't think I will be adding to this journal but I can tell you what happened afterwards if you are interested. I want things to work out between us. I care about you. It would be privilege to have you in my life. I am committed to start something between us. But I do need the possibility of marriage to be on the table. If that is not possible then maybe somehow we can forge a friendship.   Please don't let me lose you Stan. Please be a part of my life. I have a lot to offer as a fri...

Her response... My response... Those children belong to you and me. We are a family. We take responsibility for each other's successes and failures, happiness and sadness. It doesn't mean that you should ever put up with bad behavior or disrespect. I think if you just strive to be fair, that's all that you ever need to do. At the end of the day I am still their mother and you are still their grandmother. There is power in that. At the end of the day they are still children that don't know anything about how the world works and what the world will require of them. Take every opportunity to be with the kids mom. You are a good salesperson. You've got this. Betty

Dear mom, Perhaps you will have to wait until Chris dies then Bryan will let you into his life and come to Las Vegas then. Keep in touch with Bryan so that when the time comes he will remember. Force the kids to come visit you during the summertime or Christmas holidays. Remind them of your love. Breeanna's birthday is January 5th. Bryan's birthday is December 16th. And the kids love Christmas. Ask the kids what they want for gifts.   They are children. They need to be reminded of your love. Just please don't give them any money. And don't offer to pay for college.   The children need to become worthy of the sacrifices you made to earn that money.   They are not deserving of that yet. You can never buy their respect with money.   The best thing you can do is arrange with Bryan and Breeanna time in the summer visiting with you this year.   Chris earns $150,000 a year and spends $175,000 a year. This is your strength and neg...

Dear mom, As things are Chris had a stroke and is rehabilitating. He may or may not recover completely.   I had wanted Bryan, Breeanna and myself to be in Las Vegas so that we could be with you but it looks like that will not be happening.   Bryan needs a college education but I certainly do not think he will be grateful for anything that you do for him.  He has to learn to love you first.  I think that you have to contrive of a plan to get him to move to Las Vegas.  The rule will be that he has to have dinner with you every night.  Perhaps you could get him a used car and a house to live in.  In time you will both learn each other's ways.  He is a very amazing human being, full of talent and vitality.  But you have to think about how to get him away from Chris.  He loves his father but it no longer serves him to be with his father.  There is much for you to teach Bryan.  It's time for Bryan to be with you...

Dear Mike, Here is a picture of Stan.   Yesterday I explored Plot techniques in American fiction.  It makes for an interesting life wrestling with all of these new considerations.  Learning about literary techniques it's like diving into cool water on a hot day.  It's satisfying. Yesterday was overcast and a little rainy. I wondered if you mowed any lawns yesterday.   My entire day was about getting to know Stan.   I am starting to understand him a little.  He conveyed to me his programming and the rules by which his life is bounded.   We discussed the music industry because that is a fascination of his.  He aspires to be a songwriter.  And he practices his guitar one hour everyday. Stan loves nature.  There is a way that he communes with the forest and takes in the sites and sounds of the woods. I'm not sure that my journey with Stan is where I want to go.   There are plans for ...

Dear Mike, There were many good parts about yesterday.  Stan adores my writing.  He likes me incredibly a lot.  We do hold different views on religion.  He likes to talk to me.  I just listen.  I'm trying to understand him.  He loves his dog.  It's his best friend and his entire world.   My personality is that I'm highly adaptable.  Whoever people are, I generally try to accept them.  Stan holds me in high regard for some reason.  I don't know his thinking.  But I'm a quick study. I had various confrontations at school yesterday.  Chief among them was this boy who played his phone loudly and walked around the classroom.  We got into a verbal thing.  At the end I recounted his affronts then said  sarcastically and in an icy tone, "That's attractive."  He simply had boundary issues that day and he wanted things to transpire as they had.  The question is why, when I  gave hi...

Dear Mike, I hope one day you do actually read this blog.  I'm hoping.  There is the last item that did not escape Pandora's box, hope.  It seemed so long ago that I spoke to you.   I did an interview with Roger Rucker and the sound did not record properly.  I'm getting so frustrated with equipment failure. The children at school are getting to be so inclusive of me in their conversations.  During last period yesterday the teacher left no work for the class so we just talked with each other the entire class period.   Academically I've been learning the role of the narrator in the American novel. Stan from eHarmony discussed his work with me when I got home.  He has an undergrad in accounting and a master's degree in human resources.  He went over with me  in very specific detail the summation of his entire experience managing and staffing many doctor offices; his interaction with staff and doctors. He said at one po...

Dear Mike, How are you?  Apparently I am in charge of the snowfall this morning in Dayton according to my bus driver because I got the blame for causing bad weather.  I did not realize that I was so powerful.   I have an appointment with Roger for the YouTube thing today after work.   You got me started on this.   I met Stan on Zoom today.  I guess I'm his cup of tea.  He played his guitar and sang for me.  It was adorable.  He has the cutest Alabama twang.  He likes to travel and is aspiring a Mediterranean cruise.   I struggled formulating my thoughts for my article today.   This morning I listened to Sam Harris articulate the reasons for developing the skill of meditation.  It makes sense.   I'm sorry that I destroyed your peace of mind.  

Dear Mike, Onward and forward.  Today I have to review how to analyze literary passages and poetry.  I got my gear bag in from Amazon and loaded it with laptop and video camera gear.  I am psyched about my YouTube project.  I'm interviewing Roger on Thursday.   I hope you had an amazing day yesterday.  I fell out of favor with Charles now that he discovered that we live more than three hours apart.  "Us" seem like a less doable proposition.  People have no creativity.  There are airplanes and busses these days.  What on earth can stand in the way of the human spirit.  What on earth can keep you from that which you desire?  Some people are limited by a set of parameters and bounded by their own construct.  I suppose those are not the people who color outside of the lines.  All of a sudden I seem like a waste of time.  Good grief!   Today calls for snow and 27 degree weather.  It's O...

Hi Mike, It's 12:13 a.m. and I'm up.  There's a lot to do.  How are you?  I got a call from Troy, Mr. 140 intellect score.  He said a profanity to me.  It's such a huge turn off.   I once met a drummer in college.  He gave a speech and had a standing ovation.  We conversated and he said that connections are about rhythm whether we are attracted to someone or repelled by them.  I don't know if I'm explaining it well.  It makes sense in my mind. I talked to Charles last night while I was cooking my beef stew and drinking my beer.  He's such a sweet man.  It seems like we understand each other.  He only has a high school diploma but is not intimidated that I have all these educational aspirations.  I told him I was studying social psychology which is the study of people when they are with others, like the range of what will they do and what won't they do when they are with others. His job is simply takin...

Dear Mike, It's the start to another beautiful, amazing, perfect and gorgeous day.  I hope we shall endeavor to get at the marrow of life.   Perhaps I could focus on these questions today: 1) What could I notice today that I haven’t noticed before? 2) What would I say, do or be if today was my last day alive? Perhaps I could notice texture.   If today were to be the last day alive I would be grateful that I have been so loved by my kids, my mom, my friends, random kind people.  I would be grateful for the opportunity to be the difference, to be a force of goodness.  I would be grateful for all the times that I made the right choice.   It's 5 a.m. and I have to go wash the dishes.  It's such a precious morning. Felix is an aspiring writer.  He's always reaching out for my opinion: The orange sunset dipping into the horizon attempting to color my pale mind, my breath was long and dry, anyone near a few steps away could hea...

Hey, I'm shopping for a gear bag.   Just call me Ms. ready to do an interview on the spot, anytime.   I'm really psyched about this, capturing people's ideas about successful adulting.   I think it's about my son, how much I'm trying to help him avoid the pitfalls of life. The blog, the YouTube channel.  Primary mission objective: being a mom. New flavor of the day on eharmony.  I think I like him.  116 intellect.  92 self control.  114 desire for relational closeness.  We are evenly matched on all three fronts but eharmony only gave us a 99 compatibility rating.   This is definitely my type.  And he does meditation also.   There's hope for having a person in my life that will be a value plus.   Someone that I care enough about to engage with. It looks promising. My correspondence with a student at Thurgood Marshall High School. ...