#14 April 26, 2021
Dear Mike,
I wrote a letter to Stan this morning...
Dear Stan,
I'm sorry about how things are unfolding.
I care about you deeply.
If you change your mind let me know.
In the meanwhile there is friendship if that is possible.
I don't know that it is.
I would just offer mine to you.
I am available to you anytime you need a friend.
I kept a journal April 7th to April 15th if you want to read it.
I don't think I will be adding to this journal but I can tell you what happened afterwards if you are interested.
I want things to work out between us.
I care about you.
It would be privilege to have you in my life.
I am committed to start something between us.
But I do need the possibility of marriage to be on the table.
If that is not possible then maybe somehow we can forge a friendship.
Please don't let me lose you Stan.
Please be a part of my life.
I have a lot to offer as a friend if you would consider it.
Betty
...
See how often I beg? There is no pride here. I will literally beg for what I want. In this world people are so easily discardable like a used napkin.
I gotta tell you I must like a lonely life with the amount of trouble that I stir up.
I rewatched your video about your trailer.
I miss your engagement in my life terribly.
I'm glad you have a sitting mower. Thank God for that. I don't have to worry about you as much.
It must be really fun to ride around in.
I love the idea of you having fun. Isn't that just the best of what we can aspire from in life?
It's a Monday and I do intend on moving the world this week.
I'm grateful for your friendship though you're more like an imaginary friend right now. It's okay.
I'm grateful for numerous and countless things Mike.
Life is perfect.
It's hard to want for more.
Thank for being a part of my life.
Yesterday in my academic endeavors I went over conformity in social psychology. It's so exciting to explore all these concepts, pathways and digressions.
In literature I explored plot techniques in American fiction.
My mind expands daily as the landscape changes. It's a beautiful place to be.
Morning times are times of magic and unicorns. It's a fresh start, a new world. It's hard to want for more. There's magic in the way that a bird flies. There's magic in the way an engine utilizes fuel to propel a car. There's magic in the perception of color.
Eckhart Tolle once said:
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
It's second period at Thurgood Marshall High School. I'm teaching health today. The children are good and well behaved.
Kanyah Brown asked me why I always call the office on students and get them in trouble? My answer:
"In high school you are learning how to be an adult. You do not live in the woods all by yourself where you can do whatever you want , whenever you want, however you want. In high school you need to learn how to follow rules so that you don't hurt yourself when you become an adult."
I think I really spoke on their level and they got it.
As Markeya Chanler came into 4th period today she told me that I was her favorite teacher. Did I tell you that I was beautiful?
It's a perfect day today Mike. The breeze catches my stray hair. The sky is clear. I'm sitting on a patch of green grass in the shade after school.
Stan gave up on me.
It's okay. It's a disappointment but not the end of the world.
I still have my cat. She is pretty cute. She likes me even when I'm not other people's cup of tea.
Comments
Post a Comment