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My Autobiography

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Preface When I was little I remember wanting a stuffed animal. I wanted a big brother to protect me. I used to tell my teachers in Vietnam that I spoke fluent English even though I spoke no English at all. I never wanted to be anything when I grew up because I never knew you had to get a job and make your own way in the world. In those days I had long mangling hair that was uncut because my father didn't believe in cutting hair for girls. In Vietnam I remember taking group martial arts outdoors and after having watched sooooooo many martial arts movies as a child even by the ripe age of five, I told my instructors that I could easily leap onto the rooftops as they did in the movies. I got A's, B's and C's at school. I think the question that adults often ask children--What do you want to be when you grow up? Is one that needs clarification. Firstly, your question in living life and getting to know yourself each day, is who am I? What am I good at? Wh...

#42 November 2, 2021

Dear Mike, There's really no one to talk to.  It's bleak an empty.  Everyone has lives and I fit into a very small compartment of that life. So yeah I have a host of people but Brian does computer nerdy techy stuff.  Helen does Norwegian Dutch I must follow the rules shit.  William, well, he's suffering from breakup pangs. So I'm not as smart as you are. I don't know how that computes. You don't know what you don't know.  But I'm a little broken right now. And I know that your meditation helps you with your brokeness.   I know I'm a fuck up.  I know I'm self centered. Mike, why can't we just close eyes and be invisible?  It's not fair.  It's not fair that my brain is so utterly defective.  It's not fair that my life has been so utterly broken.   I'm trying what I'm trying to be. By April. I'm reaching with every breath I take  Now I'm broken.  I'm good at being broken.  Broken over my children.  Broken...