Letter to My Mom #2

Dear mom,

As things are Chris had a stroke and is rehabilitating. He may or may not recover completely.  

I had wanted Bryan, Breeanna and myself to be in Las Vegas so that we could be with you but it looks like that will not be happening.  

Bryan needs a college education but I certainly do not think he will be grateful for anything that you do for him.  He has to learn to love you first.  I think that you have to contrive of a plan to get him to move to Las Vegas.  The rule will be that he has to have dinner with you every night.  Perhaps you could get him a used car and a house to live in.  In time you will both learn each other's ways.  He is a very amazing human being, full of talent and vitality.  But you have to think about how to get him away from Chris.  He loves his father but it no longer serves him to be with his father.  There is much for you to teach Bryan.  It's time for Bryan to be with you.  

Bryan wants to go to college.

That is his lever.  You must use it to your advantage.  Perhaps you can ask him to come live in Las Vegas with you for a year so that you can judge if he is worth the investment that you might place in him.  Maybe, if he is a good person and demonstrates to you that he is capable of understanding the meaning of what it means to be unselfish, loyal and grateful.

I want you to teach him that nothing is free and that you made sacrifices to get money that you have and you are not willing to part with it if he is not deserving of your investment.  You have to play poker with Bryan and not show him your cards.  Be a tough negotiator.  What you offer him is a secure future with a college degree which will be very expensive.  Bryan shouldn't get anything just because he is your grandson.  Make him work really hard to earn things, mom.  

You are his grandmother.  You have the privilege of raising him now if you can get him to Las Vegas.  Think of a way to get him to move.  Negotiate with him.  Find out what he needs.  Find out what he wants.  

Promise him that he might be able to earn it in one year's time  from when he comes to Las Vegas to be with you if he can prove to you that he knows the meaning of what it means to be in a family.

Tell him that he hasn't had contact with me, his mother for six years.  What guarantees will you have that he will not discard everybody in his life like a piece of trash if he can do that to his own mother. 

Express concern that his father might not be teaching him about how to handle money and how to have a successful life but that you have a different life experience and tell him that it is my wish and desire for him to come and live with you for a year.  Tell him that I don't think that he yet deserves for you to pay for his college education yet.  Without a relationship then he is nobody.  You need to know that he loves you and will be a good grandson.  

 Then be tough on him when he gets there.  Never give him anything financial that he doesn't earn.  And teach him everything that you know.  Because that will be the gift that you give to him and it will be far greater a gift than anything else.

Bryan is very smart.  

Never talk bad about his father or aunt or grandfather because he will leave you.  Bryan will not tolerate that.

You also have to develop a good plan with good rules on how to make him earn the things that he wants.

Mom, I want Bryan to be with you from here on out.  Do not pay for his schooling the first year.  Make sure that he learns how to handle properties and money and teach him how to make good decisions.

I want you and Bryan to be close.  You can do this.  Just treat him with kindness.  He is very fragile.  Grow him into becoming a person who will not suffer in life the ways that you have suffered.  

Protect him, mom.

Betty