Notes to Mike

Hey, I was listening to Prisoners of Geography. https://youtu.be/-6-GjbGomF8 It's so amazing. It's such a beautiful life when you can piece together interconnecting puzzle pieces in geopolitics. I love war, or maybe just the challenge of winning, where you examine the myriad of details that make for success.   George Washington mastered the terrain because he used to work as a surveyor measuring the rise and fall of land.   One of my favorite reads was The Journal of Lewis and Clark. They were sent by President Jefferson to find a waterway that stretched east/west across the United States. There is no such water way but their journey was amazing. They surveyed the land, documented the rivers, collected plant and animal samples, survived hostile Indians and treacherous weather. It was arduous and groundbreaking because they were scouts. After them Americans poured westward from the original thirteen colonies.   Human beings are incredibly hardy. Their...

Dear Mike, How are you? Omg! I had the best time sharing with my friend, Steve a history lessen about how Hannibal brought elephants over the Alps. I did impressions of Hannibal convincing the French to join his cause. It was funny. Steve is a really sweet person. He works in IT. He has a deliberate and cautious demeanor. I always like to say stupid stuff to make him laugh. We do photography. It's been months.   So. Patrick. It's completely bizarre because Patrick and Steve are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Patrick is magnetic. A lot of good qualities. I'm teaching him meditation. I'm helping him mend something broken inside of him.   I wish you were here. My job is to put a smile on your face and I promise you, I can deliver. Because I love. I have the privilege of being your friend. It has significant meaning. Well, I would say, find joy, but you already do. I wish you perfect days. Betty

Hey, I made this video of pastor Zack the other day. https://youtu.be/5vNFZA3nY6U5 How are you? I just rewatched another of your videos on YouTube. You need to make more. Please. I miss how bright your spirit is. You're just so beautiful in front of the camera. I went straight out and bought the trimmer you recommended! Just kidding. But you are very adorable! I miss your perspective. I was thinking this morning of how my singing voice is such an embarrassment to myself and that I seriously needed to keep my day job.   Yesterday I got to tell someone about Breeanna and all the ways that she literally drove me crazy through the years. My daughter is just the absolute best! Inclusive, bright, witty! Anything she says can be taken on three different levels? I can't say that about anybody else I've ever come across!   Did I tell you that when she was five years old, she got sooooooo mad at me that she used five consecutive curse words to put me in my place? It w...

Dear Mike, Drugs and alcohol.  It's form of suicide.  I'm on a slow suicide mission.   I feel listless. I wish I was more. Remember when I told you that I had never been born.  If I blink my eyes and make it so, then I would.  The cashier at Sav A Lot came upon a victim of a  motorcycle crash not two hours ago.  The guy was more on the gone side rather than the here side.  His body lay motionless in the street as the police pulled up. It brought back memories of her daughter dying.   Jun rang out my order.  Her eyes were swollen.  Her demeanor was forlorn.  I asked her what happened. She was inaudible as she tried to explain. Her daughter was five.  She was in the ambulance as they tried to resuscitate her.  It didn't work. Two weeks after that her father died. I told her what anybody would want to hear.  I gave her strength to pull herself together, get perspective and continue with fortitude.  Th...

Preface When I was little I remember wanting a stuffed animal. I wanted a big brother to protect me. I used to tell my teachers in Vietnam that I spoke fluent English even though I spoke no English at all. I never wanted to be anything when I grew up because I never knew you had to get a job and make your own way in the world. In those days I had long mangling hair that was uncut because my father didn't believe in cutting hair for girls. In Vietnam I remember taking group martial arts outdoors and after having watched sooooooo many martial arts movies as a child even by the ripe age of five, I told my instructors that I could easily leap onto the rooftops as they did in the movies. I got A's, B's and C's at school. I think the question that adults often ask children--What do you want to be when you grow up? Is one that needs clarification. Firstly, your question in living life and getting to know yourself each day, is who am I? What am I good at? Wh...

Dear Mike, There's really no one to talk to.  It's bleak an empty.  Everyone has lives and I fit into a very small compartment of that life. So yeah I have a host of people but Brian does computer nerdy techy stuff.  Helen does Norwegian Dutch I must follow the rules shit.  William, well, he's suffering from breakup pangs. So I'm not as smart as you are. I don't know how that computes. You don't know what you don't know.  But I'm a little broken right now. And I know that your meditation helps you with your brokeness.   I know I'm a fuck up.  I know I'm self centered. Mike, why can't we just close eyes and be invisible?  It's not fair.  It's not fair that my brain is so utterly defective.  It's not fair that my life has been so utterly broken.   I'm trying what I'm trying to be. By April. I'm reaching with every breath I take  Now I'm broken.  I'm good at being broken.  Broken over my children.  Broken...

Hi Mike, It's so awkward this blog and all.  But it's me and myself.   And my indolence.   And lack of falling in to authority.  It's all of it.   And it's you for resonating with me.